"The official play by play" OR "The labor I almost slept through"

6:00am -- I wake up. Still pregnant. So I still have to go to work.

12:00pm -- As my desire to become un-pregnant occupies my thoughts to the point of obsession, I seek out and eat the hottest Mexican food I can find. Then I add hot sauce to it by the tablespoon.

3:00pm -- I leave work and leave my laptop and all of my "important stuff" at one of my schools in the hopes that Murphy's Law will take effect.

4:00pm -- Desperate, I walk 1 mile on the treadmill, do 50 squats, and roll around on my birthing ball while watching Dr. Phil.

6:30pm -- After dinner, determined, I walk another mile, do 60 squats, and roll around on the birthing ball again.

7:30pm -- I take a shower and look forward to a quiet night in front of the couch watching the Idol finale. BUT.........My water breaks in the shower.

8:15pm -- We arrive at the hospital. The guy checking us in at the ER is at his first day on the job. He is very nervous and tremendously slow. It's so bad that some guy in the waiting room comes up and asks the people at the front desk to hurry up so I don't have to deliver in the right then and there!

8:45pm -- In triage, they decide that I'm 2cm dilated and it'll probably be awhile before we have a baby.

11:30pm -- Still 2cm. Looks like it's going to be a long night. My doctor gives up and heads home to get some rest. At his advice, I get my epidural (while the anesthesiologist is already in the maternity ward so I don't miss him!) and take an Ambien to help me get some sleep. In the morning, they plan on starting Pitocin. Since I never take sleeping pills, the Ambien makes me crazy, loopy, and delirious. For some reason I keep talking about JoJo's Circus!

3:30am -- ZZZZZZZZZZZZ. But suddenly I'm 7cm. Oh well...ZZZZZZZZ...who cares? ZZZZZZZZ.....

4:30am -- ZZZZZZZZZZ....I love Ambien and epidurals....ZZZZZZZZ. The nurse comes in to check me. Fully dilated and his head is right there and ready to go. It's time to push. She turns on all the lights, gets all set up. But wait! I want to go back to sleep! I don't really feel like pushing right now. Another nurse suggests that they call my doctor since this is my third baby and he might come quickly.

5:00am -- The doctor walks in and I push him out. It all happens very fast. Honestly, I just want to push him out so I can go back to sleep, but once he arrives, it's love at first sight and I get a second wind. WELCOME BABY KEEGAN!

So, that's my story.